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      This decree starts with the strong belief that everyone should want to volunteer their services. "We're asking everyone to agree to take a turn baby-sitting the system over the weekends." "This milestone is so important that we would like everyone to contribute their evenings to the effort for the next month." Where's the damage? Coerced acceptance replaces the voluntary kind. This robs the "volunteer" of choice. If there is no choice, why not just say there's no choice? Pretending there's a choice leaves the commanded feeling manipulated. Because coerced acceptance easily falls apart under stress, the commander is often surprised by feeling betrayed in this interaction, too.

Working well together sometimes means ordering people around. This works best if, when there is no choice, choice is not implied. When given a choiceless choice, commenting on it might help identify it for what it really is. Quiet acceptance might light your slow burning fuse.


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