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Frequently Questioned Answers


      This imperative starts with a strongly held negative objective. "I don't care what you do as long as you DON'T Do That!" (It can work both ways.) "I don't care who you recruit for the effort as long as my brother-in-law is the team leader." Again, nothing on the surface disqualifies these wishes. More deeply, they are frequently attempts at avoiding some inevitable something. The thing most strenuously avoided is most likely to happen or it will need to happen for successful completion. Any outcome is more difficult to cope with if it's not supposed to happen. (I'll guarantee that "this brother-in-law" has been a problem somewhere else and this assignment is giving him his Nth last chance, all of which he's failed so far.)

Avoiding inevitability can be a successful short-term strategy, but it never works long term. Holding off the inescapable seems to conspire against the defenders. We're probably better off learning how to cope with what we wish to avoid sooner, on our own terms, since we're likely to have to face the inevitable eventually. Questioning this answer usually takes some courage and a fall back plan, to help others accept the perceived unreasonable short-term risk.


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