Sir Edward Coley Burne-Jones:
Christ in Glory (Salvator Mundi)
(circa 1874)

"…awaiting somebody capable of riding a goddamned bicycle to take over."

In a similar way that a bicycle is not a boat, our Democracy was explicitly designed not to be a kingdom, a monarchy, or an authoritarian state. Those latter forms of government, while proven viable in some contexts, just don’t float here, in precisely the same way that a bicycle fails to float. Any odd President might mistake one for the other, but the context under which he might attempt to rule will quickly and reliably betray him and his intentions. He might, by simple delusion, convince himself of his successes, but few of even his most fervent followers will manage to follow along as his bicycle eventually strays ever further from land. Each form of governance requires certain contextual realities. Ours centers around laws, which might never qualify as inviolate but still fail to behave in ways similar to commandments, just as intended. One might command until they’re quite literally blue in the face to little effect. One might convince themself that they have The Midas Touch up until the reckoning comes due and Congress refuses to extend the purse. Curse as he might then, the incumbent has reached TheMidasPoint, that place where commandments fail to elicit the expected response and where checks and balances hem in the would-be authoritarian.

I’ve been speaking of options for removing an incumbent President, but have overlooked until now the possibility, indeed the inevitability, of disqualification, resignation, or simple self-negation. There might be no better way to undermine an incumbent leader than by that leader’s own hand, our present incumbent, definitely not withstanding. He has proven himself nearly universally ham-handed in execution, bordering on self-sabotage, if not defining it. He far more often fails than succeeds, and largely succeeds only in his own mind, blaming others for his own, self-wrought misfortunes. He attracts with inflated promises he always fails to deliver, and never fails to find some handy scapegoat to blame. He might make bold moves, or moves that might seem bold to his loyal followers, but these get reversed by the courts. His administration so far has produced a series of divots on an uncaring sea floor, the price of trying to ride a bicycle on the high seas. He quite literally has little to show for his efforts other than upsets.

Try as he might, his bicycle will not behave like the boat his policies require. His plans, his Project 2025, for instance, presumed a context that was never in evidence and were destined to fall far short of expectations and, ultimately, to fail. They required a context without rails, while our self-government was designed to be almost 100% rails. There are precedents and procedures for every contingency, for we adopted a form of governance independent from the personality and whim of any incumbent. Our Founders had seen the troubles that so much latitude could foster, leading to tyranny and oppression, so they prescribed a more rigorous administration featuring strict roles and even stricter limits on any individual’s power. Damned nearly everything required a fucking act of Congress to proceed, which meant that any individual incumbent would feel like an admiral on a bicycle, toothlessly proclaiming, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead,” to absolutely no effect.

Any odd old Mussolini might march in, only to find little to command. His supposed underlings would be manning their defenses against such things, knowing for certain as their birthright that they were created equal to any goose-stepping monarch or self-important generalissimo. That aspiring Midas might find himself at best only able to turn stuff into lead. He might feel most moved to post delusional wee-hour videos, the only medium within which he can cast himself as the hero and savior of any world, a Lego leader surrounded by plummeting poll numbers. When seventy percent of any electorate sees through the smoke screen, it no longer matters how elaborately it was cast. It failed to elicit the expected response and soon dispersed. In retrospect, it never could have succeeded. For an incumbent who has, in his eyes, never failed, his failure must be especially unnerving. He might suit up and attempt to appear in public, but the necessary illusion of power and/or authority fails to hover closely around him. He seems only an ill-dressed clown, just as Our Founders intended for any future incumbent with a Midas fixation to appear before The People.

Often described as “The Most Powerful Role in the World,” the American Presidency features some subtle contingencies to that general designation. Not everyone can credibly project a powerful presence, especially outside the kleig lights and grease paint of campaigning leading up to an election. One might, as this incumbent has, attempt to lead by kleig and grease, and even seem to succeed for a spell, but the deft deployment of the power behind the designation demands bureaucratic and actual political skills, not merely those of some actor or tin pot dictator, even one with a flashy golden touch. The system, our system, was specifically designed to chew up and spit out such pretenders to our non-existent throne. Those addicted to pomp soon learn that they’ve misinterpreted the circumstances under which they ascended. Their agenda melts and crumbles, and that ill-conceived Presidency utterly disqualifies itself and reverts to chaos until the incumbent resigns or simply self-negates until the nightmare ends. It never ends soon enough for anybody pretending to a throne, but the underlying Democracy stands essentially intact, awaiting somebody capable of riding a goddamned bicycle to take over.

©2026 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

Tags: #EndDays, #PureSchmaltz