Julius Schiller:
Saint Stephen (Cepheus)
Constellation IV from Coelum Stellatum Christianum
(1627)

"… Making America Great Again with his sudden and permanent absence."

I dedicate this Comeuppance Story to what might be considered the Patron Saint of Impropriety, Saint Stephen, who bad-mouthed his benefactors and was stoned to death for his trouble. Widely considered to be the first Christian Martyr, the Pharisees commanded him to be killed for committing what might seem the most dainty of infractions, one that sounds as though it would only be committed at high tea by someone improperly orienting their pinkie. Impropriety might be the most subtle of the more serious infractions. A single Impropriety rarely carries much downside, but repeated over time and across contexts, it pretty much guarantees some Comeuppance, and often, surprisingly unforgiving punishment. Stoning might be the least of the sentences meted out to those chronically exhibiting Impropriety, especially if they’re clergy.

When our incumbent declared his intention to run for the office which he never had any intention of upholding, he presented himself as operating outside the political orthodoxy. He offered the easiest diagnosis in the history of political rhetoric: the body politic was rotting, and only an outsider like himself could cure the infection. He promised to take full license to operate outside the usual parameters of political propriety, but only because it would be absolutely necessary to cure what truly ailed us. In retrospect, these pronouncements seem roughly equivalent to someone declaring they were the most qualified to fly an airliner because they had never learned how to fly one. The outsider always promotes their inabilities as assets, and people seem more than willing to follow such Pied Pipers, who seem to simplify whatever problems they describe.

Once propriety has been successfully reframed, Impropriety can easily become the expected norm. Those enthralled by the reframe see solutions appearing like literal magic. Those not entranced see only negative externalities. The reviled system had been deliberately designed to operate the way it did, for good and even decent reasons. Almost every encumbrance our incumbent described had previously been a solution to a much worse problem than the inefficiencies or red tape our incumbent revealed. He made the proverbial bull in a china shop appear careful in comparison as he violated ten thousand small and large proprieties, fulfilling what he insisted were his duties of office. He seemed mostly belligerent. He cooked the books to make it look as though his slashing and burning had succeeded at something. Most weren’t fooled. The orthodoxy was clearly not amused, but the enemy had breached the gates, and they knew no propriety. They were feral administrators, which explains why, to experienced administrators, they seemed incapable of adequately administering anything. Unsurprisingly, the airship of state flew poorly under our incumbent’s command.

The Bad Boy retains a hallowed place in literature. It seems to be the one reliable character who can quickly transform any situation. Just cast an Arnold Schwarzenegger in the role. Let him loose to kick a few butts back into alignment. But, of course, the Schwarzenegger approach rarely succeeds when the patient needs surgery, or even when they just need some nurturing encouragement. The problem with the superhero approach seems to be that it requires some sort of crisis to justify action, so they tend to be much better at inventing crises than at resolving them. Invite some strongman to engage, and don’t be surprised if every issue inevitably dissolves into fights. Superheroes fight or flee, for only fleeing seems like an alternative to fighting for someone schooled in superhero lore. However impossible a political problem, bulling into the middle of it, thinking that should resolve it, might be the very mother of all Improprieties. It amounts to malfeasance of public office.

We should not be terribly surprised that our incumbent has adopted F^@& Around and Find Out as his non-administration’s all-around catchphrase. It seems that this administration proudly incapable of administering anything, has devolved into simply F^@&ing Up everything it touches. It exhibits the F^@& Us Touch, reminiscent of the Midas one, blessing us on the surface with endless alarming headlines that ultimately sum to quite a bit less than nothing much. Elect a clown and inherit a circus, elect a F^@& Up and get F^@&ed, I guess. He has become the sum of his Improprieties, which, laid end to end, stretch beyond every horizon. He continues committing fresh Improprieties, as if that was the only trick he ever mastered. It probably is. The Comeuppance wave building behind his epic string of Improprieties now seems inescapable. It will certainly swamp our Democracy if it hasn’t already. May our incumbent become the first MAGA Martyr, Making America Great Again with his sudden and permanent absence. That seems like a worthy and extremely well-earned Comeuppance for our Bad Boy In Chief. Good riddance!

©2026 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

Tags: #Comeuppance, #PureSchmaltz