Modeled by Johann Joachim Kändler: King Vulture (1734)
Meissen Porcelain Manufactory (1710–present)
Meissen, Electorate of Saxony (now Germany)

ABOUT THIS ARTWORK
As elector of Saxony and king of Poland, Augustus II (r. 1694/97–1733) presided over the ambitious transformation of his capital, Dresden, through advances in architecture, the arts, science, and technology. Produced beginning in 1710 through royal sponsorship and funding, Meissen porcelain was an exclusive luxury good of its time. Around 1728 Augustus conceived of replicating the animal kingdom in porcelain for display in a Baroque palace that he was transforming into a showcase for his collections of Asian and Meissen ceramics. This porcelain zoo was intended for the long gallery on the main floor of the palace. By 1733, the year the king died, more than thirty different models of birds and almost forty animals had been made, many by the sculptor Johann Joachim Kändler, who worked at Meissen from 1731 to 1775. Kändler drew this vulture from life, which allowed him to animate his work with the creature’s quintessential spirit. Such porcelain animals remain the most vivid expression of Augustus’s wish, as elector and king, to possess and rule over the natural world.

"Every minute I'm not scrolling my social media,
I'm looking out for encroaching Federals."

Now that I’ve started reducing my social media scrolling, I’m noticing some things that were invisible before. Back when I was still more or less mindlessly engaging in scrolling, I’d failed to notice the feeling associated with initiating another scrolling session. Hell, I’d hardly noticed when I started scrolling again. I would usually notice I was scrolling after I had been scrolling for some indeterminate period of time, like awakening from fitful sleeping. Now that I’m more deliberately regulating my scrolling, I seem more capable of feeling and of noticing. The sense I get as I slip into another trance-like session feels like one of extreme vulnerability, bordering on desperation. I often feel stymied, and then, as if I’m incapable of independent action, I feel co-opted. When I experience this state, scrolling envelops me like a protective older sibling. I notice that I feel this way a lot lately.

Our incumbent seems as though he’s designed his whole administration to induce just this sensation on the general population. His insistence that the laws of this land do not apply to him or his administration leaves the law-abiding feeling betrayed. The oath of his office, really the sole promise he might be held legally accountable for fulfilling, insists that he will faithfully execute the Presidency and preserve, protect, and defend the U.S. Constitution. Breaking existing laws violates this sacred oath. It amounts to a violation of the very Constitution he swore to defend. Such a violation should leave even the most powerful of us feeling vulnerable, for our Constitution stands between us and chaos.

It’s curious that in our system of government, few requirements exist for those who would hold public office. Presidential candidates must be citizens and of a certain age. Other than those rather modest qualifications, executive experience, for instance, cannot be required. Elections exist to determine the will of the people, not the skills, abilities, and experience of any candidate for office. Our sheriff can legally be less qualified for employment than our dog catcher, since dog catchers are hired, and so they can be required to possess applicable skills and experience. Our elected sheriff need not have ever sat through even the barest orientation course teaching law enforcement. Same for our president. (This is our will-of-the-people democracy in action, folks!)

The president might make ten thousand crocodile promises on the campaign trail, not one of them in any way legally binding. An incumbent must possess a moral compass in order to successfully navigate fulfilling campaign promises. Heaven help any electorate that selects a morally incompetent president, for that incumbent will induce a continuing deep sense of vulnerability on the populace, just like our present incumbent has. It’s really no wonder, upon deeper reflection, that so many find themselves obsessed or addicted to doom-scrolling their social media. This seems a perfectly natural response to an administration continuously performing vulnerability-inducing acts. It’s not law enforcement to send untrained troops to troll through peaceful neighborhoods, trying to incite the inhabitants to defensive violence. It’s not in any way normal for our more vulnerable to have their vulnerabilities rubbed in their faces by essentially untrained and unrestrained federal agents. It’s not normal for anyone to lust after becoming the unelected president of a place like Venezuela. It’s just cringeworthy.

I read my news, and I sometimes watch myself deflate. I feel myself panicking as my mind races, unable to logically resolve the paradoxes cornering me. I’m a life-long pacifist harboring ninja fantasies. I pray for neighborhood hunting parties to take out the clowns wearing silly cosplay masks and armed with idiotic paintball weapons. I fantasize about painting over ICE agents’ license plates so that they might get their cars towed. I envy Minute Men with muskets. I have too often slipped into a trance instead, only to startle awake some indeterminate period later, doom scrolling in retribution. I’m carrying a small whistle in my coin pocket now, ready and hopefully able to scare off the big bad federals should they come prowling around my neighborhood. I might be no more powerful than Little Red Ridinghood, but I can damn-well sound the alarm when I’m feeling most Vulnerable. Every minute I’m not scrolling my social media, I’m looking out for encroaching Federals.

©2026 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

Tags: #Unscrolling, #PureSchmaltz