Ain't No Fleas On Me!

For a century following the Civil War, Southern voters with lingering resentments against Mr. Lincoln’s Republicans claimed that they would vote for the Democrat, even if the party nominated a yellow dog as their candidate. Many of these Yellow Dog Democrats shifted allegiance during the sixties’ Civil Rights struggles, becoming born-again, Pit Bull Republicans. Now, after nearly thirty years piddling on the Congressional carpets, shredding the White House furniture, and sometimes both, the old yellow Republican attack dog no longer seems able to hunt.

The Republican Party will be moving from the White House to take up long-term residence in a well-deserved dog house. Unlike Mr. Lincoln, Mr. Mark-My-Territory Bush could not be accused of conducting anything like a civil war during his tenure, and it might well be two hundred years before any Republican, regardless of pedigree, has a prayer of being elected President again.

Against this backdrop, it’s distressing to watch pit bull conservatives nip the heels of their lead sled dog, Mr. McCain, for not being yellow enough! It doesn’t matter how yellow he is now. If he’s running as a Republican, he can’t win!

A few of the more feral Republicans are rooting for Hillary’s nomination, reasoning that she’s one unelectable, um, mother. But under the Yellow Dog Rule, it doesn’t matter who the Dems nominate this time around. The leash has been passed.

While it might well be that Mr. Bush’s enduring legacy will be to ensure the electability of any yellow dog running in the Dems’ pack, there are no dogs running under that label this cycle. While most of us would vote for a yellow dog rather than any Republican, we won’t have to this time.

Whomever the candidate, whomever the running mate, there will be no fleas joyriding on the Dems’ ticket this year. Let’s fumi-gate the infested halls of Congress, liberate the soiled copies of the Constitution from the floor of the West Wing, and get on with the business of the people for the next century or two.

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