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Unstuck 2.9: S.I.N.S.

Stuck Isn’t Necessarily Serious. I can be stuck on you, sweety pie, or stuck in the middle with you, too. (No place I’d rather be!) Standing there hub-deep and all by itself, stuck registers value-neutral. Pooh might have gotten himself wedged in a great tightness, but his distress felt at best comically unfortunate.

The great S.I.N.S. of stuckness arise from taking it too damned seriously. The venal sin of unwarranted seriousness can consume the most upstanding souls. Stuckness, like life, qualifies as just too damned serious be to taken too damned seriously.

A difficulty tends to deepen when serious elevates alarm along with interest, inducing a deadly race to resolve right now. Nobody does their best choosing with that old internal alarm pounding in their head. A distancing disinterest always simplifies decision-making. Alarmed and invested, I become my own worst extractor.

Pooh got himself stuck by out-growing his escape route. His alarm was understandable, but hardly necessary. Christopher Robin, Roo, and Eyore didn’t have to come to his rescue because he didn’t really need rescuing. Waiting a day or two, the difficulty would have resolved itself.

A first principle of stuckness might be to not take it too awfully seriously because that can transform even benign stuckness into something awfully serious. First, do no harm. Even I can sometimes sit with my awareness of the stuckness before sending out the alarm. Sitting with an awareness of the stuckness feels much different from simply sitting, unaware, in the stuckness, and often yields an insight to more properly frame my following response. And the one after that.

Stuck tends to be the almost exact opposite of a barn fire. A speedy response isn’t essential, and usually only fans the imagined flames. Stuck ain’t going anywhere right this moment. I can sit with my stuckness for a spell before deciding what to do: share some snarky comments, take a break, pop open a beer. Feet up, chuckle set wide open, there’s almost nothing very serious about stuck.

The more serious the stuckness seems, the less likely I am to ever escape that sinking feeling it brings.

©2012 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

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