PureSchmaltz

Rendered Fat Content

Humpty

Humpty
Ohara Koson: Two White Geese (Japanese, Meiji era, beginning of 20th century)
" … stripping out soft brass screw heads and struggling with heavy things."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

-Traditional Nursery Rhyme


The Villa Vatta Schmaltz seems to be experiencing a bout of Humpty as The Muse and I try to put The Villa back together again.
I might fairly compare Our Grand Refurbishment to Humpty's great fall in that many old familiar status quos became victims to it. Window latches remain on back order and I'm afraid that I've fallen behind my earlier aggressive progress rehanging doors. The Muse has been attempting to recreate her above ground-level office but even that requires handling heavy things. Heavy complicates everything. The hinge company understood their product. They included two extra screws per unit, I learned, because solid brass screws are so soft that they're likely about a third of the time to get ruined when attempting to screw them into recalcitrant screw holes filled with matchsticks. I managed to wash the doors I'd earlier refinished. They were filthy after spending the Summer and Fall in the fondly-remembered Pop-up Paint Shoppe out in the driveway. Everything seems to be in every other thing's way. Attempting anything delays something else.

While the Refurbish work seemed to take forever, the reassembly looks as though it will most certainly take much longer. The drapes which we pulled down in a lazy hour might take months or years to replace. The fireplace, the Hearth heart of the place, will most likely not be finished until after fireplace season this year and next. Just rehanging pictures and mirrors seems daunting from here. Who really wants to be the first to puncture a hard-won unmarked wall? I foresee a long unsettled back in period to follow the over-long not yet fully moved in one. I cannot foresee from here when any final punctuation might appear and even then, it just might end up being another question mark?

We're still planning on having family over for Thanksgiving dinner, though we'll very likely spend the whole day together in the one room unaffected by our grand obsession, the kitchen. We figure that people tend to gravitate toward the kitchen anyway, however many other rooms might be open, so we'll probably not inconvenience anybody by packing us all together in there. We'll hope for halfway decent weather so that we might cook some of the feast on the back deck. We're planning on a partial pot luck party, anyway, since The Grand Other prefers some dishes that neither The Muse nor I know how to cook. Her mom graciously volunteered to supply what Kylie might actually eat. She usually fasts for dinner whenever she eats here. Picky palates are their own punishment.

I've long wondered how it might have been that the king's horses contributed in any way to attempting to put Humpty together again. Humpty, by all accounts, was a good egg, but nonetheless an egg, and horses, even king's horses, lack the fine motor skills and delicate nature necessary to even attempt to reassemble egg shells. If the king's men were doomed to fail, I fail to understand how adding horses to the rescue mission could have possibly helped. It might just be, though, that this very question's my problem. If I knew how king's horses might help, I might also employ some similar bafflingly unobvious ploy to assist The Muse and I put our own personal old Humpty back together again. Heck, we don't even have the services of king's men, however dubious their skills. It's just The Muse and I and the cats, of course, stripping out soft brass screw heads and struggling with heavy things.

©2021 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved







blog comments powered by Disqus