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OrdinaryTimes 1.34-Dis-Qualification

I’ve heard that some people seek qualification. I guess I’m the opposite. I revel in disqualification. I felt validated when my high school guidance counselor declared me unsuitable for college. I’ve sat for a few certification exams, but gratefully failed most of them. I do not test well. I’m proud to say that I barely pass my periodic driver’s test, mostly because the state insists upon administering it on a Windoze-like computer, which I learned long ago wasn’t designed for me to use. My darling daughter, unlike me, did really well on her SAT exams, but, disgusted with colleges that used this widely discredited qualification for admission purposes, choose to go to schools that refused to use the damned thing. I guess my perspective might be DNA deep. I certainly hope so.

I live in a world crazy for certifications. I’m surprised that I don’t have to show prior ‘proof’ of some skill to sit on the freaking toilet, but I’m confident that’s coming. With the proliferation of computing has come the inundation of surveys, assessments, and exams, each supposed to prove something. Few of them prove anything except how savvy of an exam-taker I am. I am not a savvy exam taker, and do not aspire to become one. The cost’s just too great.

I’d honestly rather be considered disqualified because I revel in that. With disqualification comes the full and certain understanding that I’m on my own. There will be no spurious statistics touting my capabilities. I will not find myself pre-approved for any membership I would not seek anyway. I get to make my own way because I have to. Every day.

I will not pretend that I have not spent large portions of my life wondering where I might fit in. Not testing well has left me feeling alone sometimes, occasionally bereft. I think of this feeling as The Gods shoving me back out on the ice. I’m on my own. I can buck up and create something or, though it seems a little late in life, learn how to snooker the test and become recognized as knowledgeable in some field.

The great gift disqualification brings the sure and certain recognition that I must create my own opportunities. Nobody’s greasing my skids. Every morning brings another blank page. No resting on yesterday’s laurels. This makes me completely unexceptional, since I’d undoubtedly have to pass some certifying exam to prove exceptionality. I’m nobody until I create something. Then, shortly thereafter, I get to be nobody again. What greater gift could anyone receive? No certifying exam required.

©2013 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

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