Giovanni Battista Piranesi: Title Page from Imaginary Prisons (1749–50)

"I do not believe he can possibly succeed by so transparently misleading us with his ImaginaryEnemies."

Sixty days into NextWorld, ImaginaryEnemies seem to outnumber any actual ones so far. Our fresh incumbent must possess a hyperactive imagination, if only because of the astounding number of opponents it manufactures. Ancient allies regularly turn up on replacement watch lists, accused of some previously invisible infraction. Our oldest trading partners stand accused of ripping us off for generations by insisting on following mutually agreed-upon trading rules. Our former benefactors join the ever-lengthening list of probable suspects. It almost seems as if we’re suddenly suffering from some persecution complex, as ridiculous as most of the accusations seem. With each new indictment, the accuser's credibility diminishes in the public's eye. With plummeting popularity, he, unsurprisingly, doubles then triples down. It would not surprise me to learn that we had finally been discovered to have been our own worst enemy for years and that it took a stable genius in the White House to finally recognize the threat. I suppose we will be owed an obligatory tariff on ourselves next.

I feel increasingly exhausted by the transparently imaginary turmoil. I can't tell who I'm supposed to revile from one day to the next. With so many news outlets already declared enemy sympathizers and the few reliable ones often left out of the loop due to the administration's imaginary grave suspicions, the unreliable outlets tend to break the latest revelations. These need to trickle down and survive a few interpretations and, in increasingly many cases, overcome understandable skepticism. It's often a few days before I'm even informed of the latest grave threat. Even then, I cannot always bring myself to believe that Panama, for instance, somehow became such a grievous threat that we've taken to rattling our sabers in her general direction. That and Greenland, now clearly so much a threat to our homeland that we must pre-emptively threaten their homeland in kind. Denmark, the current owner of that iceberg, wonders when decency stopped mattering in international relations. So do the rest of us!

Our incumbent might have let what little power the presidency prescribes go to his head. The genius of our democracy was intended to be found in the limits to power our constitution defines, not in the breadth of power it bestows. The presidency, as described, exists as the absolute antithesis of a ruler. He's not even allowed his own checkbook. He's primarily an administrator, charged with fulfilling the wishes of a popularly elected legislature according to rules created by that legislature and enforced by an independent judiciary. Ideally, governance occurs via conference. A president may try to influence the will of Congress if he wishes, but he dare not refuse to fulfill their wishes lest he be exposed to impeachment. The sole exception to this designed balance occurs during wars. During wartime, the presidency becomes less democratic. Despotic actions have traditionally been tolerated in the interest of preserving the state. Paradoxically, practice permits employing its opposite to preserve itself. A wag might suggest that such a compromise utterly undermines the whole intent.

Our latest incumbent identifies enemies under the probably mistaken belief that if he can convince most that we're at war, he can enjoy those extraordinary powers. We are not yet at war, certainly not anything resembling a formally declared one, but this fact has not yet seemed to dissuade our president from behaving like a wartime tyrant. If Canada's our enemy, who's next? The Vatican? The EEU was apparently recently added to the list, as was NATO, which we founded. Most of the trading partnerships we helped create have recently been found to have been operating in opposition to our interests. We've been slapping tariffs on former partners faster than the Gabor sisters switched husbands. Had only one or two old and dear friends betrayed us, perhaps the accusations might have persuaded us. Still, the volume and speed of these accusations only suggest fiction, delusion, or both. The talk of our incumbent's cognitive decline grows louder with each additional former trading partner he labels an opponent. If enemies were assets, we'd be by far the wealthiest country in the world. Wait! Weren't we already the wealthiest country in the world?

We were at war with ourselves before this administration appeared. It appeared primarily due to ImaginaryEnemies and underappreciated friends, supercharged by increasingly antisocial media. The Thems that convinced those who voted for this imaginator-in-chief firmly believed in these ImaginaryEnemies. They thought they were voting to preserve our democracy rather than to engage in a seemingly endless series of trumped-up skirmishes, each more meaningless than the last. Our crisis, if we are experiencing a crisis, might well be just as imaginary as our enemies. While we believe we're imperiled, we will most certainly remain so. Our judiciary was initially supposed to be the one sitting above, watching the brawl below while refusing to engage in it. It's been somewhat compromised, but it still seems capable of at least creating a powerful counternarrative, which the blogosphere will unsurprisingly work overtime to overwhelm. ImaginaryEnemies have always been more dangerous and threatening than the authentic kind. It might be that there could never be any vanquishing of anything imaginary. Its existence utterly depends upon belief. One evaporates ImaginaryEnemies, or one never overcomes them. The conflicts they encourage continue just as long as we believe there's something we must vanquish. ImaginaryEnemies create the weapons of mass distraction that allow a petty tyrant to have his perverted ways with us. I do not believe he can possibly succeed by so transparently misleading us with his ImaginaryEnemies.

©2025 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

Tags: #NextWorld, #PureSchmaltz