Rendered Fat Content


Jack Gould: Untitled (party in laundromat, woman being pushed in cart) (1957)

" … the perfect profession for me."

On these midsummer evenings, I like to sit in the garage with the roll-up door open, and watch. The scene before me, freshly painted siding boards poised on two by fours balanced atop old cat litter tubs, my pop-up paint shoppe, various roses and flowers, seems like a microcosm of my life. The Schooner's parked a little further down the driveway, laurel bush out-growing its space, the mock orange that refuses to bloom spreading out behind. The cats will pass through, stop for quick head scratches, then crawl beneath something and give themselves tongue baths. They'll watch, too.

This feels like the apotheosis of my Being.
My tools and sundry paint cans spread out around me, fertilizers and garden chemicals filling shelves, my stuff in here and little else. I keep promising myself that I'll one day, after finishing the repainting project perhaps, organize this place and make it tidy, but I doubt that I will ever make good on that promise. This building is just what it is and aspires to be little else. It's plenty good enough, and sitting here sure beats sitting in front of a television. The Villa, lovely and large, serves as my second home after that garage.

I'm considering my life as I sit there apparently idle. I'm thinking ahead, planning the steps I'll take the next morning up on the scaffolding. I'm playing scenarios, doing research, pondering, putting together puzzles. Maybe I could repurpose those leftover siding boards in the garden benches. How would I saw them? Might they be too thin? I've suddenly talked myself in to another big project. There is no end.

Being's never static. I sometimes wish I could slow everything down to a speed I might be capable of catching. I'm forever trailing behind, my mind a few steps ahead, my hands playing catch-up. Doing dooms me to practice, to imperfection, to trying too hard. Being's satisfied sitting here, wondering, watching, aware, timeless. This idle activity, Being, seems the perfect profession for me.

©2022 by David A. Schmaltz - all rights reserved

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