My name is widely known and mostly used as if an expletive
I know you are a sucker, so I quote the Dow historical
From bull to bear and back again, my profits categorical.
I'm very
well acquainted, too, with matters hypothetical
I leave it to my quants to understand the mere quadratical
About the buzz on Wall Street, well, I'm teeming with a lot o'
news
But don’t expect me to explain the square of an
hypotenuse.
Don’t
expect me to explain the square of an hypotenuse
Don’t expect me to explain the square of an hypotenuse
Don’t expect me to explain the square of an
hypotenuse
I
flunked right out of integral and differential calculus
I spurn the scientific names of feelings animalculous
In short, in matters speculative, unctuous, or derivative,
I am the very model of a modern chief executive!
In short, in
matters speculative, unctuous, or derivative,
He is the very model of a modern chief executive!
I
know our mythic history, from our founders to our LBO
I bluffed my way through every move, and so became the CEO
I quote in banal homilies the words of others just like me
Iconic and elusive, I’m a model chief executive.
I
smell financial fraud before the SEC gets wind of it
and join the croaking chorus when the loser’s frog-marched to
the kip
Then quietly cash in just like I’ve done a thousand times
before
And pout with all the innocence of a child dressed in
pinafore
And pout with
all the innocence of a child dressed in pinafore
And pout with all the innocence of a child dressed in
pinafore
And pout with all the innocence of a child dressed in
pina-pinafore
Then I can write
a binding bill in bureaucratic cuneiform
And lobby ‘till it’s voted to become our justice
uniform
In short, in matters legislative, unctuous, or derivative
I am the very model of a modern chief executive!
In short, in
matters speculative, unctuous, or derivative
He is the very model of a modern chief executive!
In fact, I know
what happens to the ones who cannot win this game
They’re forced to public service and to lose that seaside
shack in Maine
They’ll drive a General Motors car and be a minor News Hour
star
And blame the best and brightest for the latest economic
scar.
When I first
heard what progress had been made in modern sophistry
I quickly learned the tactics like a novice in a nunnery
And now I am a master of a bait and switch economy
You'll say no chief executive has ever lived, the likes of
me!
You'll say no
chief executive has ever lived, the likes of me
You'll say no chief executive has ever lived, the likes of me
You'll say no chief executive has ever lived, the l-likes of
me!
With
bureaucratic skill I am both plucky and adventury
This should prevent indictment till the start of the next
century
But still, in matters speculative, unctuous, or derivative
I am the very model of a modern chief executive!
But still, in
matters speculative, unctuous, or derivative
He the very model of a modern chief executive!
